Bad Yaoi Warning. HAPPY YAOI YUM YUM.
Review by talyseon
in Books, Movies
in Books, Movies
Cons: Oh, goodness, so many, so very many things.
Happy Yaoi Yum Yum by a whole lot of people who should have known better.
I always start my Yaoi reviews with a warning. This time I am going to use the one printed on the back of the book.
"WARNING . Book contains explicitly explicit sexual sex scenes of explicit sex."
"2ND WARNING . If you are a straight guy who picked up this book because you think those are flat-chested girls on the front, put it back. They're dudes.
Book contains numerous depictions of full frontal nudity, full backal nudity, and in one panel you can kind of see inside a guy's butt.
Depictions of sex with tentacles, corn vines, beans, coins, a harp, fingers, a giant, a giant strap-on, a cat boy, lamb boy, puppy boys, more tentacles, a merboy, some bird boys, and then that lamb boy again.
If you're that supposedly straight guy we mentioned in paragraph 2, why the Hell are you still reading this?"
Why indeed? I'll tell you why. it has the same hypnotic pull of a train wreck. You want to look away, but you can't. You know it is going to be bad, but you just don't know how bad.
Let me save you time, trouble and sleepless nights. it is bad, from start to finish. Yaoi is an interesting art form; it is Japanese, featuring romances between men. It is written mostly by women, mostly for women. It can range from sweet schoolboy romances to very hot and steamy. This, however, is just porn. And it is cartoon porn. It's just tacky.
The stories, and I use the terms loosely, consist of a retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk. Anything put up Jack's butt turns into a hot man. Anything. The second story feature the Tentacle monster (yes, it is a monster made up of penis-like tentacles) and its adventures in Kemonini Forest. (A Kemonini is a person with animal features like cat ears, and a tail, or horns. Manga loves Cat Girls and Foxboys.) The third is a retelling of Goldilocks and the three bears, with the bears played by hot guys in cheap bear costumes. Goldilocks is a transvestite. The last story is about a porn star who is seduced to go gay.
There is as much story as you would expect in on screen porn. It is just graphic sex, fully depicted, crass, and frankly quickly boring. And there is a gallery of thirty pages of work by various artists. No story, no continuity, just pictures of guys screwing. Some are elves, some are samurai, some are faeries, but all of them are caught in the act.
And while the art is good, technically, throughout, that is all this has going for it. It is just. pornography. And tiresome porn at that.
I like Yaoi; it is fresh, frequently funny, has a different aesthetic from gay stories in America, and can be a really fun read. This is just trash. And I would never have reviewed it, except as warning.
(500)
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